Alright, let's get one thing straight right off the bat: this whole "Bitcoin on Starknet" narrative is the kind of marketing BS that makes my eyes roll so hard I can practically see my brain. They want us to believe they're "retrofitting Bitcoin into the plumbing of the blockchain’s DeFi stack?" Give me a break.
The Hype Train Is Overcrowded
So, Starknet's TVL doubled since July. Big deal. It's all thanks to some "massive reward programme" for Bitcoin deposits. Translation: they're throwing money at people to use their platform. It's like paying people to come to your party and then bragging about how popular you are. Newsflash: it ain't organic.
And this Eli Ben-Sasson guy, CEO of Starknet's developer, saying they want Bitcoin to function as "yield-bearing, networked collateral." What a load of jargon. What they really want is to siphon off some of that sweet, sweet Bitcoin liquidity.
But here's the kicker: they suffered a nine-hour outage in September! A nine-hour outage! And they expect us to trust them with our Bitcoin? Please. My grandma's dial-up connection is more reliable.
Speaking of questionable metrics, let's talk about these "top crypto gainers." Aster, Starknet, Zcash... seriously? These are the coins we're supposed to be excited about? Aster's struggling at resistance, Zcash is flashing bearish divergences, and Starknet... well, Starknet's up 20% today, but let's be real, it's still down 96% from its opening price. Talk about a rug pull waiting to happen. Top Crypto Gainers: Aster, Starknet, and Zcash recovery at risk
I'm just saying, where's the actual innovation here? Where's the reason to believe this isn't just another pump-and-dump scheme disguised as "revolutionizing DeFi?"
Token Unlocks: The Sword of Damocles
And then there's the token unlocks. Starknet unlocked 5% of its circulating supply on Nov 15, Arbitrum unlocked almost 2% on Nov 16, and offcourse, these unlocks "create selling pressure." You don't say! It's almost like flooding the market with new tokens dilutes the value of the existing ones. Who could have possibly seen that coming? Starknet and Arbitrum Face Significant Unlocks That Could Cause Selling Pressure

It's like printing money, but instead of the government doing it and screwing everyone over slowly, it's a crypto project doing it and screwing everyone over quickly.
Let's be real: these "unlocks" are just a way for the early investors and team members to cash out while leaving the bagholders holding... well, bags. And the "linear unlock schedule" that Arbitrum's using? That just means they're planning to bleed everyone dry slowly over the next few years. How generous.
The Future Is... Unclear?
So, what's the play here? Are we supposed to believe that Starknet is going to magically transform Bitcoin into some kind of DeFi powerhouse? Or is this just another overhyped, under-delivering crypto project destined to fade into obscurity like the rest of them?
I'm not saying it's definitely going to fail. But I am saying that I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm just too cynical. Maybe this time, it's different.
Nah. Who am I kidding?
